…was one of the things I thought while relaxing in a little plastic coffin last week.
I thought many other things too, I’m sure, but seeing as I was mostly asleep I don’t exactly recall. Those MRI machines are amazingly comfortable, which is weird, because you’re basically in the middle of one –ing huge magnet. It isn’t actually scary, especially since there’s some faux fresh air flowing over your face, and the cooler sounds exactly like birds chirping. When you close your eyes, it’s an idyllic outdoor scene. This is good, it distracts the patient from the knowledge that if they’d had that extra pizza slice at lunch, they probably wouldn’t fit.
For safety reasons, you have to remove metal things, like earrings and lip rings and nose rings and cock rings and necklaces and bracelets and the like. I’m very glad she noticed my chain, I usually forget about it. That might have been the difference between writing this post and a VERY BIG LAWSUIT over my decapitated corpse. And before you all chime in, yes, I know they have limited liability when the patient knowingly wears metallic objects into a –ing huge magnet.
Oddly enough, I also thought the name “Dewcup”. I don’t even know any strippers named “Dewcup”. Strippers always have awesome bunny names like that, something cute and cuddly so you can feel all warm inside as they proceed to convince you that you are the only person they care about, and it has nothing to do with money, my God no, how can you even suggest that, you just have the most lovely eyes, etc. Oh, and how do you like my breasts? They didn’t cost much, I know this guy, it was cheap, and they shouldn’t leak for at least five years.
Strippers are crazy. I should know.
