I got (American) Chinese food yesterday; it’s cheap, quick, and my body mostly ignores it because it’s way too fried to actually digest. Also, the hot sauce I add makes me high. Note to self: investigate this.
The meal came with a fortune cookie, naturally, but it’s a little vague on some of the details. I have friends who like to append a little ‘in bed’ to the end of every fortune derived from a cookie, and then snicker, but I do not do this because I am not a child. This is a key point, I will return to it later.
(excuse me a second, our company mom got us some Sour Patch Twists, and they are a bitch to open. Some jerk put the scissors all the way across the room, so there goes that plan.)
Alright, back to the point. This is the text of the fortune cookie, verbatim:
“☺There is a true and sincere friendship between you both.☺”
I like the inclusion of the smiley faces, they do a good job of prompting me to feel happy. It’s not written in active voice, but I can get over it, the English is rather clear and straightforward. The problem is one of vagueness – to wit, who, goddamn it, who? I like to know my true and sincere friends, because they might be hot.
I’m very serious about this. It’s not appropriate to let someone know that they have friends, especially close friends, without some sort of indicators. I don’t need a lot, I’m reasonably astute, but perhaps a hint would be in order. Do you agree? Something small, like eye color or height or cup size. Anything.
On a less serious note, I have severe back pain. But a week ago, before I started the blog, my back was fine. There’s really only one obvious answer as to why this happened: karma.
